Kelley Haynes Blogspot

Coming Home

2010-06-26T02:35:00.002-05:00

Well, it's been another fun and exciting trip to the African continent. This time around, I was able to see new and old sights, all with my mother and sister. Being with them here has really made a difference, a huge impact on how I perceive Africa and all she has to offer. . .

We've seen the sights, been embraced (as well as educated) by the people here. It's been a truly fantastic journey that I hope to share again someday. :)

I'm also looking forward to returning 'home' to Dallas. Just look for me on any given day from now until July 11th . . . I'll be the girl with the vuvuzela and USA scarf shouting for Team USA!!!

Woo hoooo! :-)

Kelley

Lucky

2010-06-21T03:10:00.002-05:00

Well, I attended the BIG game (World Cup match, England v. Algeria) and it was everything you could ever expect. The stadium, Green Point stadium here in Cape Town, is immaculate. The fans were there to support their respective countries, and the British sang the national anthem throughout the match. It was extraordinary . . .

I only started watching the World Cup in 2006 (yes, it's a shame). I missed all those years of Pele and the Brazilian dynasty, or the great German victory . . . and Maradona at his prime. I missed all the blood and passion, and fighting and glory, for 30 years. Then, in 2006, Leigh visited Mexico and the next thing you know, she came back talking about "El Mundial", and I was hooked. I watched Zizou head butt some guy and still win the respect of millions (even though his team lost the game).

I spoke to another guy from the U.S. yesterday and he said this of folks in the U.S. and soccer. He says that he heard from someone that we'll never "get" soccer. That soccer is about playing as hard as you can, and even sometimes being the best team, but by some "fluke" or little mistake, the other team scores a goal, they win and you are left with . . . well, that's life. The best team doesn't always win.

I LOVE that, and believe it's true. Life is not always fair. You can be the King one day, and the next day just a pauper. It's life. It's all grown up . . . and most people just 'get it'.

There's this concept in social psychology, it's a "fallacy" -- something people believe in that's just not true. It's this idea that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. Some folks call it "belief in a just world". Not so. Bad things happen to good people all the time, and oftentimes they get better. Good things happen to bad people, and sometimes they don't deserve.

All I have to say is, good things happen to me all the time and contrary to what some may believe, I don't deserve. It's all very complicated. I am often humbled. I am blessed, and I just feel 'lucky'. :-)

Kelley

'Connected'

2010-06-17T04:29:00.002-05:00

For quite some time, I've known about my addiction . . . to the internet.

I work online. I play online. I meet up with my friends online. I make jokes online. I LIVE online.

Being in South Africa has its advantages. The culture is not nearly as "connected" as I am accustomed to. Also, the internet connections are much slower. You think I'd be happy about disconnecting myself from that global information umbilical cord, but I get so frustrated when I can't check my email. Or chat on gmail! Or update Facebook . . . goodness gracious!!

I met up with a couple of friends yesterday, both Capetonians. One friend, a very spirited and social personality teased me about how much I'm on Facebook. My sister and I exchanged glances and hung our heads in a bit of shame. I find it utterly hilarious . . .

It makes me think about the father who bought his 4 year old an iTouch. On the one hand, it's a great idea to expose youngsters to technology at a very early age. They will be far ahead of others in terms of chatting, and emailing and sharing files, etc. However, does this also diminish our connections with the 'real' world? Does it remove a human's discovery of the world through the 5 senses? Could becoming so technologically 'connected' distance us from the earth and from our environment?

I guess it's all about balance. For instance, while I'm here in Cape Town I've committed to taking walks along the beachfront as much as I can. I want to smell the sea, and hear her orchestra of melodies. I want to remember it . . . and feel connected to it. I must create a balance between being 'connected' and Being Connected.

Kelley

The Beautiful Game

2010-06-14T05:47:00.002-05:00

It is with great pleasure that I announce to you that Leigh (my sister) and I scored tickets to a World Cup match, England v. Algeria, on Friday!! I am SOO excited!

We'll be going over to the fan celebrations throughout the day and the game is not scheduled until 8:30pm. We have very high seats, but are happy to be a part of such a great event. I didn't grow up watching soccer (football), but I have grown to love it tremendously over the past few years.

World Cup is truly a global phenomenon, and is the most watched sporting event of our time. It is AMAZING to think that all over the world, millions of people are sitting in front of tiny televisions or grand plasma TVs all watching these guys fight for the glory of their respective countries . . . ahhh, what a game!!

Besides, those soccer bodies are also not too bad to watch!!! (sorry, Boris). ;-)

We are planning to go down to some of the local restaurants and watch matches daily, with the local crowds. It's a mad house whenever South Africa plays, but it an amazing energy/vibe to be with all the local supporters watching their team.

It's rainy today, but maybe I'll go watch a movie or something before soccer starts today . . . hmmmm.

Kelley

The Balance Between Man and Nature

2010-06-11T03:46:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, we visited Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens. Kirstenbosch flanks Table Mountain and consists of hundreds of acres of beautiful flowers and other local vegetation, some of which grows no where else in the world. Currently, the garden is developing a new project entitled “Restoring the Balance Between Man & Nature”. I don’t know much about the project itself, but the titled really stood out for me.

The day before, we’d visited Robben Island. This was my second visit but I found myself more emotional this time around. I remember one reflection made by my sister. It was something about being treated badly and then imprisoned by ones oppressors . . . only to be further humiliated and degradated inside the prison walls. In Robben Island, political prisoners were considered more dangerous than even ‘common law prisoners’ (rapists, murderers, etc.) and treated more harshly. Then, Black prisoners were treated far worse than the Coloured and Asian political prisoners. They were given no shoes, shorts instead of pants and short-sleeved shirts rather than long-sleeved ones, even during cold winter months.

As a black person myself, seeing this type of humiliation and treatment really has an impact. I think of the ways I have been treated differently throughout my life. How, I can’t seem to escape the fact that many people in the world see and treat black people badly. The whole thing makes me tired, angry and sad. I left the tour, and Robben Island in tears and a bit heartbroken. On the boat ride home, we tried to keep our spirits up, but each of us (my mother, my sister and myself) was emotionally drained.

So, in order to top the evening off, we headed straight for the Paulaner brewhouse and restaurant directly across from the Robben Island Gateway at the Victoria & Albert Waterfront!! Paulaner is one of my favorites and it was nice to relax there in its cozy warmth. :)

We woke up the next day and rode with Caroline to Kirstenbosch. It was here that my spirits seemed to be restored. Walking admidst all the beauty and grandeur of the flowers and the mountains flanked in the background, it was not difficult to let go of the previous days’ negativity. There’s a bust of Nelson Mandela in the gardens. In his book, “The Long Walk to Freedom”, he talks fondly about the plants growing in the courtyard of the prison and his ‘relationship’ to them as a gardener. I can truthfully recommend his method of reigning in depression by taking part in nature’s beauty . . .

Speaking of beauty, last night was the opening concert for the World Cup!!! We’ve seen SOO many tourists from all over the world. Leigh was stopped by a couple of gents from Uruguay who were surprised she spoke fluent Spanish. They welcomed each other to the games and to the country. Then, last night we met lots of people at a local pub. Everyone seems to be in the World Cup spirit and we were ‘forced’ (willingly) to karaoke “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springstein. It was a sight to behold because neither me, Leigh or the South African lady singing along with us knew any of the words other than the chorus. LOL

Tonight, we’ll visit the Fan Park for the opening game between South African and Mexico (Viva Mexico! Go CONCACAF!!). Please do not tell any of my South African buddies that I wrote that! On Saturday is the match between USA and England, so we are having a party at Caroline’s house in honor of the games. We must bring dishes from the US and all the British folks will bring dishes from their country. It’ll be lots of fun, and Leigh is looking forward to making her famous nachos.

Kelley

Rain, rain

2010-06-08T02:24:00.002-05:00

Wow, have we been busy!

Yesterday, we went into the city to visit some of the folks Leigh will be working with for her internship project. It's an exciting time, and she'll be living right in the middle of things. Everyone is so friendly, but also surprised that the "lady from the U.S." is brown-skinned. It's so funny how our perceptions of certain places depend on only our previous experiences and various assumptions. At least twice, while we we waited in a cafe for her meeting, the 2 internship representatives passed us by, thinking we couldn't be the group from the U.S.!! lol
Finally, someone shouted and directed them to our corner. . .

On our way home from the waterfront the other day, the cab driver was absolutely stunned that we three were not from South Africa. He educated us all about his culture (Xhosa) and lecutred me about not knowing the meaning of my first name. (I was able to get by with an explanation of my second name, which does have some significance).

Yet another cab driver was from Ghana, and upon learning that we were from the states said "Welcome home." He even phoned us later that night to make sure we made it home safely. One of the funniest things about this driver (his name is Jesse), is the way he says "you people" in the place of 'you all' or 'ya'll' in certain places. He says, "Have you people seen this?" or "Do you people want to do that?" It's really funny and definitely a part of his local dialect. :)

The weather here has been touch and go. It is the rainy season here in Cape Town, so it is to be expected. On our way to the meeting yesterday, we were caught in quite a downpour . . . perhaps we were not recognizable to the folks at the cafe because of our absolute wetness!

World cup soccer starts Friday, and we are planning to visit the Fan Park where thousands will be gathered to celebrate and watch the opening match. I CAN'T WAIT!

Kelley

Telling the Truth (6/5/10)

2010-06-06T13:55:00.003-05:00

Well, after eating Kingclip fish for the first time in 2 years, I am feeling quite satisfied and happy! I believe that my most memorable parts of my previous visit to South Africa were the people and the food. I'm 2-down now with the food, having eaten Kingclip and boboti. So, hopefully, I'll be seeing more familiar faces soon!! :)

We visited the Victoria & Alfred waterfront yesterday, a very pleasant afternoon. We strolled through the craft market and met so many friendly people. It seems as though everyone here has become a welcoming 'host' to the world. On our taxi ride back to Milnerton, we spoke to a gentleman who spoke to us openly about South Africa's history and his experience of all that has happened in his lifetime.

He talked about seeing and hearing Nelson Mandela's first speech after he was released from prison. He explained to us that although there was much anger in the country, one had to 'forgive' . . . but not forget.

Earlier that day, we'd visited the Nelson Mandela museum which is currently showcasing an exhibit dedicated to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC). The TRC was designed to help reconcile the country post-apartheid. It was meant to 1) learn the truth of all the violence and brutality during apartheid and 2) reconcile the nation.

I remember reading in Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat. Pray. Love" that as she was going through a difficult relationship, a friend told her to "Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth." I thought about this as I perused the images in the TRC exhibit. How important was it that the truth be told? How much more difficult is it to forgive, if those who victimize us never tell the whole truth about those victimizations?

I don't have the answers to these questions, but I find it interesting that the TRC faced them so many years ago.

Kelley

Back by Popular Demand

2010-06-04T04:29:00.003-05:00

Well, I am back in Cape Town and blogging again . . .

After many requests, I have decided to blog about this Cape Town trip as I did with the last one. It really is a great way to keep up with all I'm experiencing moment by moment AND to share those experiences with everyone else.

I will be here for 3 weeks, both vacationing and collaborating with faculty here. I am interested to know about how international professors are managing and creating multicultural student engagement, and Cape Town is a very multicultural place!

While I am here, South Africa is also hosting the 2010 FIFA World Cup. It is truly a 'worldwide' event and I'm so happy to be here for the experience. On our flights here, there were hundreds of people from all over the world traveling here for just that. It's a BIG deal! So much so, that the 150,000 additional match tickets that were placed on sale just this past Friday were all gone by the we got here. However, I am still hopeful that we'll score tickets from someone looking to make a quick buck. ;)

We are living in a flat on my friend Caroline's 'estate'. It should be very comfortable and I'm happy to be here with my mother and sister. This place is about an 8 minute walk to the sea, and we are planning to spend a LOT of time there.

Here's what we have planned for Day 1:

1) Internet cafe
2) Eat

. . . . well, on to number 2, then!

Kelley

"A Graceful Heart"

2008-10-23T20:05:00.003-05:00

I showed a video in class today about treatment for Anorexia. In it, a woman in Canada (along with a staff of 40) offers around the clock empathy, compassion and kindness to women and men suffering from the disease. It turns out that she, her husband and even her children have used up all equity in their homes to support the mission of the work. As I listened to this woman speak about her work, I thought "Oh my, what a graceful heart".

This idea about graceful hearts came to me recently. Over the weekend, I spent time with my mother and my sister watching "The Color Purple" at Dallas Music Hall. It was a great production and during it, my heart went out for many of the female characters in the story. I leaned over to my sister at one point and exclaimed "Alice Walker is a genius!"

In the narrative I saw a few significant female archetypes: There was Shug Avery; beautiful, dynamic and sexually free. Sophia; head-strong, opinionated and relational. Netty; attractive, travelled and educated. Squeak; the flighty little nymph (who eventually comes into her own). And then there was Celie; physically unattractive, victim to life's circumstances, yet very beautiful and graceful in heart.

During the play, Shug sings to Celie stating just that. If you've seen the movie you'll remember a scene where Celie talks about being 'ugly'. Shug defies her and says that she believes Celie is beautiful. In the play, Shug expresses her feelings in song; singing of Celie's very beautiful and very graceful heart.

I know so many women like Celie and admire each one greatly. :)

-Kelley

Travel

2008-10-16T11:57:00.008-05:00

I saw this quote on CNN today and simply HAD to repeat it:

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness." -Mark Twain

One of the criticisms about citizens of the U.S., of many different creeds, colors, religions, etc. is that we are so very narrow-minded and arrogant. Recently, a nobel prize judge said something to the effect that literature from the US is likely to not win a Nobel prize because those writing are so very . . . guess what . . . ethnocentric.

I was attending a church service many years ago, and the pastor asked everyone who DID NOT have a passport to stand. On my row, only about 5 people remained seated. Over 20 stood up. I was astounded.

One thing that I've learned in my own travels is that there are so many ways to be 'normal', to be healthy, to have a family, to purchase groceries, to eat dinner, to do laundry -- all sorts of things for which many of us in the States would assume universality.

For these reasons, I see so much truth in Twain's statement. Yet, I also believe that traveling with an "open mind" is equally important.

-Kelley

Running Away from Home

2008-10-01T22:08:00.003-05:00

What might drive one 'out' instead of 'in' during times of high stress, frustration or anxiety?

Sometimes, when I have had a long day at work, or when I'm really feeling low; I like to go out and 'do' something. A movie, something to eat, some sort of 'entertainment' to get my mind off of things.

Today, I was in such a state. Long day at work. I drove home with my mind racing trying to figure out what I could 'do' to calm down and feel better. All of these things involved participating in some sort of activity "out there". Then it hit me: I keep running away from home.

When I was young, my mother used to say "your home is your haven". I guess, over time, I lost that. I seem to try and find my haven, my peace, my resolve; in entertainment and activities removed from the calm and peaceful environment I have created in my own home.

So, tonight I relaxed. I decided to stay at home and stop spinning my wheels.

I ended up doing some laundry, drinking a glass of wine (no surprise there) and watching VH1's Top 100 Hip-Hop songs of all time: remember Digable Planets?? "Cool Like That"? Ah, that was my SONG!! -- but I digress . . .

I really enjoyed this evening. I will have to remember to enjoy these times when I am not pressed for time and can actually enjoy myself at home. I remember reading something from Parker Palmer that spoke about going 'in and down' versus 'up and out' to find peace. In that sense, I appreciate these times. Plus, it's less laundry for me to do come Saturday!! :)

Kelley

"Perfect"

2008-09-26T14:32:00.007-05:00

Several years ago, I read an interview with Alice Walker wherein she discusses her snaggle-toothed cat. She explained that her cat had had 'a hard life' and that if someone were to look at the cat, he or she might say "That cat has imperfect teeth". Walker argues that the cat is perfect, and the teeth represent her genuineness. She says:

" . . . everything is already perfect. And if you can accept that everything is already perfect, the imperfection is a part of the perfection. What's to worry about?"

Deep.

But wait. Everything is already perfect? Imperfection is a part of the perfection? Huh?

The older I get, the more I want to embrace this. I think I get it. One author, Parker Palmer says this about the concept: "in everything there is a hidden wholeness". I believe these concepts of the 'imperfect perfect' are really talking about authenticity and genuineness.

That if we accept the genuine or authentic life, person or situation; we are experiencing its hidden wholeness.

Might I apply this to myself and those around me?

I wonder if I would stop trying to change people and pointing out their flaws? I wonder if I could then accept the 'imperfections' in my life as part of my own hidden wholeness. Always something to ponder. . .

Kelley

There is no mystery in ethnocentrism

2008-09-23T10:17:00.005-05:00

During semesters when I teach multicultural competency, I often talk about a concept entitled "ethnocentric monoculturalism" that was developed by Derald Wing Sue and is discussed in depth in Sue and Sue's book "Counseling the Culturally Diverse".

Ethnocentric monoculturalism has several elements, but 2 are of great interest to me today: 1) Sue and Sue state that members of the ethnocentric society possess a belief that their way of doing things is the "best way" (belief in superiority) and 2) these beliefs may operate outside of an individual's conscious awareness, so that there are assumptions of universality; that diverse people groups share the same nature of reality and truth.

I am a multicultural scholar. I believe in multiple perspectives, experiences, realities and truths. I am also a psychologist who travels and understands that there are certain aspects of the human experience that we share universally as humankind.

A few months ago, I read a quote by Nelson Mandela that read "I am not particularly religious or spiritual; I am just an ordinary person trying to make sense of the mysteries of life."

Personally, I would describe myself as very religious and spiritual. What I like about Mandela's quote, however, is the humility that is just below the surface of his statement. He seems to state, with humility, that he doesn't have it all figured out. He admits that he does not have all the answers.

Humility or arrogance (superiority). Since none of us are all good or all bad, I imagine that we each carry a little bit of both these characteristics.

I guess I am sitting here today wishing we all had a little more humility and a little less superiority. I wonder how our relationships in the world would change if we each held such a perspective?

I believe that ethnocentrism stunts us personally. I agree that believing we have it all figured out makes us feel more comfortable and even safe in a world filled with questions. What it does not do is enhance our personal growth. It stunts us. It keeps us from asking more questions and figuring out a little more of the mysteries of our lives each day.

Kelley

It's not just about me?

2008-09-17T18:36:00.003-05:00

So, I thought I would go to South Africa, have this great teaching experience, learn about a new culture and all of this would be culturally enriching . . . but for me, right? It looks like even though my plans manifested themselves, the trip would come to have a much broader meaning and effect.

Last week, I spoke to several students in my classes here in the states, along several topics or 'morsels of wisdom' that I gained during my experience teaching in South Africa. I even sprinkled the conversations with a few experiences I had during my first and second trip to Kenya.

I realized two things: 1) My teaching is truly enriched by having had the experiences. I have many more stories and narratives to share; and 2) my students here are getting to 'meet' my South African students through these stories. They are being introduced in a way to the culture and traditions of students far away from our local social context. Students who are similar in many ways, but in other ways have remarkably different lives and traditions.

I appreciate this lesson that things don't always turn out just the way we plan . . . sometimes they turn out even better.

Kelley

Sing The Blues

2008-09-11T00:06:00.007-05:00

"Culture, I must confess that waltzes do not move me.

I have no sympathy for symphonies.

I guess I hummed the Blues too early,

and spent too many midnights

out wailing to the rain" (Niia)

A few years ago, I read a book about relationships and Greek goddess archetypes. In it, the author discusses the myth of Persephone. Persephone's story goes something like this:

A daughter of Demeter (mother of the earth), Persephone represents fertility and her presence creates an eternal spring over the earth. During her late-childhood years, Persephone is kidnapped and raped by Hades, god of the underworld. Demeter, in her mother's anguish and despair, forbids the earth to produce and an awful winter covers the earth. Upon being pressured by Zeus (who is being pressured by folks who want earth to regain it's fertility), Hades agrees to release Persephone. However, just as she leaves, Hades offers Persephone 12 pomegranate seeds. Persephone, in her innocence and famine, eats four seeds. Without realizing it, but because she ate the seeds, Persephone must return to the underworld each year for 4 months. During those four months, Demeter grieves her daughter and does not allow the earth to produce. In the Greek legend, this is why we have winters or seasons when the earth does not produce.

When I first read the quote about singing the blues (above), I thought for a long time about those of us who like Persephone experience a premature introduction to life's "blues". There is a loss of innocence, yes, but I also believe that there is a realization of the deeper, and less ideal aspects of the human personality and experience.

So what's wrong with that?

I think about Persephone and how she eventually marries Hades and becomes queen of the underworld. In the interpretation I read, she uses her time there helping people navigate the journey from her mother's earth through the world of death and loss that she has become accustomed to.

Yet, she also represents spring . . . new life, new beginnings, fertility and abundance.

I love the duality in her story. She is bicultural and bilingual -- able to speak two different languages and live soundly in two very different worlds.

So many times (in my opinion), when we consider our early experiences, we allow negative themes to dominant our lives. On the other hand, many of us go about trying to live our lives as though we never had those experiences. That we are unaffected by the pains and lessons of such experiences.

Somewhere in the middle of these two extremes is what one author describes as 'reconciliation'. I think of reconciliation as integrating and bringing together, in a healthy way, the experiences and characteristics (good and bad) that have impacted us and that make us who we are.

Perhaps the story of Persephone offers us a valuable lesson in strength, maturity and reconciliation.

Kelley

More than just 'culture shock'

2008-09-10T16:20:00.008-05:00

I am beginning to re-prioritize my daily routine and my life.

While teaching at Cornerstone Christian College in South Africa, I showed a Rob Bell film from the Nooma series entitled "Breathe". In it, Bell discusses the idea that many spiritual scholars believe that the name "Yahweh", spelled YHWH in the bible, can be thought of as referring to the sound of breathing . . . yh, wh.

He goes on to ask several questions, one of which went something like: How would you move through the world differently if the name of God really were the sound of breathing? My question is: How do I interpret the command, "Do not take the name of God in vain" if in fact, the name of God is the sound of my own breathing?

I saw a homeless guy while I was driving home from work today. Looking at him, his dirty clothes, his baseball cap flipped upside down and extended for collecting cash; I thought of the questions stirred by the Breathe video. Acknowledging that this human is as sacred as any other is quite profound.

I watched an adorable little movie the other day entitled "Martian Child". In it, the child believes he is from Mars while his adoptive father writes about Mars as a science fiction writer. In one scene, the father explains to the kid that we are here on earth, held in place by gravity, spinning around in endless space, aware of our eventual demise and that we still reach out to each other for various reasons. He says "Isn't that enough. Isn't that 'weird' enough?"

His speech helps me remember how remarkable 'life' is. I consider the things that are most important . . . to me at least. Honoring 'life' reminds me to value my time here; taking a perspective that is absent of the angst created by living to meet the expectations of our culture. Rather, I explore my values and live by some sort of personal moral standard. Or, at least I should be doing that. :)

Kelley

"Relationships"

2008-09-02T10:58:00.009-05:00

Well, I have been back in the US now for 9 days. The day before I left Cape Town, I attended a luncheon with the "coffee girls" from Cornerstone and it was delightful. Rather than going to Kirstenbosch, we went to a place called Montebello and ate at The Gardener's Cottage Restaurant. Interestingly enough, Nadine's grandmother knew "the gardener" whose cottage is now the restaurant where we ate.

After lunch, we did a little shopping and Caroline bought a Desmond Tutu doll. Later in the evening, I visited her home and there was the Archbishop sitting atop a bookshelf in the front lounge area . . . adorable.

The ladies bought me a beautiful beaded set of two bowls and a small container that matches. This beaded style was one of few uniquely South African crafts to which I had access. I was grateful for and very pleased with the gift!

The following day, Saturday, Caroline drove me to the airport and I flew out at 6pm, arriving the following day at approximately noon, in Texas.

For the past several days I have been coping with jet lag and the cultural and geographical transition. I went for a walk the other day and in my periphery saw the pointed roofs of an apartment complex. My eyes believed they were seeing mountains but my mind quickly reminded them it was impossible for what I was seeing to be mountains. I was saddened by this and only a few moments later my eyes thought they saw the ocean . . .

Yet, I am so happy to be back at home. I was pleased to see my colleagues, friends and family members. I have come to believe, for myself, there is no replacement for the relationships that I find central to my life and my happiness.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the notion of each city having a word. According to the author of the book I read, individuals also have our own words. Something that defines us, is central to us, is constantly running through our minds. I have thought about this for myself and come to the conclusion that my 'word' is Relationships.

I am deeply appreciative to have returned to so many good relationships and look forward to enjoying each, immensely.

Kelley

A "Tea" in my Honor

2008-08-19T08:08:00.000-05:00

Today, a group of Cornerstone faculty and staff hosted a "tea" in honor of this being my last week teaching at the college. It was very lovely and I don't know who read my mind, but someone brought samosas (samoosas, sambusas)!! I love samosas SO much that I thought about writing a blog entry entitled "Death by Samosa" but decided against it . . . for now, anyway.

A few days ago, I read a news article in which one of the US presidential candidates was quoted as saying something to the effect that "many Americans have lost the idea of what it means to give oneself over to a greater purpose".

This aspect of giving oneself over to a greater purpose is very evident of the Cornerstone College faculty, staff and administrators. What's even more enlightening is the honesty with which they do so. I read a book once entitled "Naked Fruit". Essentially, the author was suggesting that a Christian feigning (faking) kindness, patience, self-control, etc. is not ideal. She suggested that we "get naked" and strip away these false coverings that so plague us.

This is what I admire about the folks here at Cornerstone. I've not seen an individual 'pretend' that everything is swell. Very 'real' is how I would describe it. Due to my bias of those things real, genuine and authentic, I then, have a natural inclination toward such a person. :)

On Thursday, I will have lunch with several ladies from Cornerstone and then visit Kirstenbosch Gardens, a botanical garden near the college campus. I am looking forward to it!

My last class, Family & Development, is on Friday. I'll be saying my final goodbyes to students on that day. So sad. :(

Kelley

PS I've uploaded several new pics to Flickr, check it out! www.flickr.com/msdamaris

I've Been Busy!

2008-08-18T04:59:00.000-05:00

With only a short time left in Cape Town, I've been quite busy trying to take in my final 'tours':

Cape Town "Big Red Bus Tour"

I'm sure this isn't the formal name for such an experience, but you've seen them, right? Those big red buses with an open 'roof' where you see all these tourists with their cameras taking photos of sights around town? That was me on Wednesday. The tour had about 8 stops and returned every 40 minutes or so. It was a great time to see many of the city 'sights' without having to pay a hefty price for taxi fees. I met the tour at the waterfront and drove through many areas including District 6, Cape Malay Quarters, Houses of Parliament, Camp's Bay, Sea Point and Table Mountain. I took some FANTASTIC photos, and all around it was a tremendous experience. I only took two stops, which were to Table Mountain and Camp's Bay.

Table Mountain

The first thing I noticed as I ascended, inside the cable car that transported us, was that the floor moves!! Oh my goodness, with heart palpitations because of the height, the clockwise 180 degree movement inside the cable car was quite an experience. Once I arrived on top of the mountain I noticed how quiet it was. It's almost as though I didn't notice the "noise" of my everyday life until I heard the "quiet" of the mountain . . . interesting. When I looked over the side of the mountain and saw the sea at Camp's Bay, I couldn't help it, I cried. I think I cried because of the beauty, the ENORMOUS beauty of it all -- and then because I wished moments like that could last forever.

One of the most surprising aspects of being on top of Table Mountain was the consistency of the mountain itself . . . rocks, sandstone actually. There wasn't much "soil" on the mountain. Honestly, the mountain looks as though someone took square-shaped stones and stacked them one on top of the other in order to create it. It is very amazing to see.

Camp's Bay

After leaving the mountain (I hopped on the red bus again) we drove to Camp's Bay, which is a beautiful beach area with many nice restaurants along the coast. I ate at a placed called "Paranga" -- if you are ever in Cape Town, you must eat here. The food is excellent and the view of the ocean is absolutely spectacular. I had grilled Kingclip fish with mango salsa and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc -- DIVINE. I remember drinking a sip of wine and seeing a row of palm trees reflecting on the inside of my wine glass. It was definitely a moment to remember.

After eating (I stayed for about 1.5 hours -- had dessert too), I walked along the beach and enjoyed the sun and the ocean breeze. I've got some great pictures and most exciting was seeing a 'sponge' that had washed ashore. Very cool! I leaned to place my fingertips in the ocean foam as the tide came in and not only did my shoes get wet, one sleeve of my jacket was soaked!

Later, I took the red bus back to the waterfront, did some souvenir shopping and retired at 'home'. It was a very enjoyable day. :)

I spent the rest of the week grading papers and teaching.

Rugby

Then, on Saturday I went to watch a rugby match at the local pub. It took me no time to get into the game. If you walked into the restaurant during the game, you would have seen me yelling and screaming and leaning with all my might to one side -- my feeble attempt to help #so-and-so make it past the goal line. The South African team is even closer to my heart because one of their kickers had a short stint as a kicker for the Dallas Cowboys -- oh, yes I love this team!! :)

Saturday evening, Hayly and I went to eat Indian food and later had drinks with some of her friends at a place called "Rick's" -- a Moroccan restaurant. Good times.

Hermanus

Sunday was an awesome day. I spent the ENTIRE day touring about with Germans, British, Canadians, Americans, a Brazilian, and a Japanese. We all hired an agency called "Daytrippers" and went whale watching in Hermanus. We saw about 12 whales. One came very close to shore with her 'baby' (the babies are born at 5 tons; mommies weigh about 40 tons). Another whale came completely out of the water and "breached" for us! It was very exciting. Unfortunately, most of my pictures are of the sea. It seemed that each time I turned off my camera another whale would do something really special -- Murphy's Law I suppose.

Overall, I've had a fantastic 5 days. I just can't get enough of the sea. The sea and 'Kingclip' will be two things I miss very much when I return home.

Kelley

Cloudy Mountain

2008-08-13T03:53:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally got up the nerve, energy and initiative to visit Table Mountain and it is covered with the most massive cloud I've ever seen. Capetonians call this the 'tablecloth' of Table Mountain. You can't imagine the enormous collection of mist and fog that has entirely encapsulated this international symbol of what it means to be IN Cape Town, South Africa.

So, instead of visiting the mountain, I've decided to spend my day semi-relaxing and grading papers. Later, I will probably go to the "Mr. Video" shop and rent one of the few movies that will operate given the 'Region 1' settings of my computer.

I had a FANTASTIC class yesterday. The students took over the class and conducted group presentations. It was 'funny' because I had trouble keeping students within the allotted time frames -- never had that problem before! The students were very passionate about the selected topics and it was clear they'd spent several hours in preparation. One group interviewed several people on their attitudes toward the topic and then presented the video to the class. It was quite exciting and very well done.

In Friday's class, students will also be presenting. Except in this case, individually. I am again looking forward to their presentations and am certain I will be impressed with both students and presentations.

Off to grade papers . . . :)

Kelley

Women's Day

2008-08-09T06:01:00.001-05:00

On August 9, 1956, approximately 20,000 South African women marched in protest of the "pass laws" which required Black and Coloured South Africans to carry 'passes' to enter what had been deemed as 'White' areas. The protest was considered historic and the country commemorates the day, celebrating National Women's Day on August 9th of each year.

I just saw an article entitled "Women's Day: Is there anything to celebrate?" The question is meant to address the economic disparities between men and women in the country and also between Women of Color versus more affluent White women. It's an interesting point, and since today is Women's Day, I appreciate the writer grappling with the issue.

A few days ago, I rented and watched a movie starring Maggie Gyllenhall entitled "Sherry Baby". The movie was, surprisingly, very graphic (sexual gratuity and drug use) and depicted a young mother (also a recovering heroin addict) trying to rehabilitate her life after being released from prison. I was chatting with my boyfriend over Google Talk and asked him if he'd ever seen the movie. He replied yes and remembered it as a movie where "she lets people use her, but then doesn't really have a choice".

His comment rang true for me. Watching the film, I was very frustrated with the character "Sherry". I would say that she allowed men to used her, sexually. In one instance, she traded a sexual favor to get an 'honest' job. . . I found myself losing respect for her. Later in the film, at her daughter's birthday party, we see Sherry being fondled by her own father. It was at that moment her story was illuminated for me and I felt compassion for her.

I felt moreso frustrated with the people who took advantage of Sherry. I'll use the job placement guy as an example. Did he have to accept the sexual favor she offered? Could he have refused to use/abuse her in this way? The film ended with me thinking that I would have had so much respect for at least one character in the movie who ,when given an opportunity to use, manipulate or exploit this woman; chose not to.

Which brings me to the point of "Women's Day" and whether we as a collective humanity have cause to celebrate. When 14 year old girls in Kenya are payed for sex, or when women are raped during the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, or living in a world where more than 80% of the victims of physical and sexual abuse are female; is there reason to celebrate?

The question is not mine to answer. My point is: How about us living by some moral principle of choosing not to exploit other people even if we have that opportunity?

Kelley

Feeling a little tired

2008-08-08T07:47:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!

With only 2 weeks more remaining here in Cape Town, I am feeling a bit fatigued. It really has been a whirlwind and the 4-hour teaching days are beginning to take their toll. Then again, it could be the fact that I flew to Cape Town ONE DAY AFTER completing my summer semester with Argosy. What was I thinking?

Then, perhaps it is the fact that, now at midterm, students are submitting exams and term papers. I am spending lots of my time not only preparing lectures but grading assignments. Over the past week, I was very pleased to read the exam responses of my Family & Development students. One question asked students to describe family normalcy in their personal cultural context . . . basically, "What's a normal family in your culture?" If they allowed me to, I would love to create a "cultural collage" from their responses. :)

One student stated "In my opinion, a normal family is an abnormal family." The point he makes is that each family has it's own issues to face and family health is based moreso on how the family adapts to these challenges rather than whether any issues exist. Because we live in such a diverse world and with so many social contexts, a family could healthily address the SAME issue in a multitude of different ways.

I have found the students in both of the courses I'm teaching to be very insightful in this way.

This weekend, Hayly Friend (with whom I share an office) has invited me to a "bring and share" at her place -- um, for Texans, that's a potluck. I'm taking Guacamole! I was taught how to make guacamole a couple of days ago and I'm trying to get all the practice I can get!!

Kelley

Cultural Food Festival at Cornerstone!

2008-08-04T04:30:00.001-05:00

Today, the students at Cornerstone hosted an international food festival. Because Cornerstone has such a variety of students, there were dishes from Korea, various African countries, Brazil, the UK, the US and a variety of other locations.

My favorites were all South African: Rooti - a Cape Malay dish that is a flaky, flatbread wrap filled with minced curry beef; Boerewors Roll (Boer=white Afrikaaner farmer; Wors=sausage) - A traditional Afrikaaner food consisting of grilled beef sausage with onions, in a hot dog bun (the 'roll'); Milk Tarts - A Cape Coloured dessert similar to a buttermilk/custard pie (I had 2).

I also had Korean noodles and chicken, and from Kenya - beef stew & mukimo (mashed potatoes with peas and corn).

I tell you, this was delicious and a great surprise!! :)

Kelley

Wine Tour & Sunday Service

2008-08-04T02:09:00.000-05:00

If I die and go to heaven and wake up on a wine farm, I will exclaim "I knew it!" :)

Those of you who know me well, know that I love wine. Over the weekend, I had the very pleasant opportunity of going on a wine tour. We visited three wine farms and tasted cheese, wine and chocolates . . . yummy! By the end of the day I was fully, um, relaxed . . . and considered it a perfect day.

My favorite was Backsberg Wines. They have been in existence for almost 200 years (I think). Here we tasted white wines, red wines, brandy and a very delicious dessert wine infused with Brandy. I bought two bottles of the dessert wine. So did most of the members of my tour group.

Interestingly enough, I toured with 5 young people (most in their early 20s) who were in South Africa volunteering with various social service agencies, but were residing together in a volunteer hostel. At one point, I believe it was after the second wine tasting, I slipped and fell coming off the van that was transporting us. I thought to myself: "I'm the old lady who drinks a few sips of wine, gets tipsy, and falls." I was so embarrassed! The other tourists were very gracious and didn't tease me mercilessly.

On Saturday, after the wine tour, I had dinner with a woman named Margie who has been working with Cornerstone since its beginning. I slept at her place and then we attended Langa Christian Church on Sunday morning. A Cornerstone student, and also Margie's "mentee" gave a very powerful message. She talked about character in the context of Job. It was very insightful and even moreso in the context of South Africa where there are so many examples of this inner character of which she spoke.

I noticed something swell when the congregation began to sing hymns in their mother tongue of Xhosa. People seemed even more 'filled' and worshipful. It made me think of something I read once, about talking to people in the "language of their hearts". Or, another person here in Cape Town who said that many people will speak of sex in English versus their own language because sexual words "should never be uttered" in their mother tongue. English to them feels more . . . distant.

Bonolo, or "Sis. Bonolo" as her congregation refers to her, is a wonderful speaker. I came upon many insights of my own as I listened to her. She spoke of 'character' and the ability to acknowledge God even within the most difficult of circumstances. Job was able to do this. I would say that Nelson Mandela was able to do this . . . and perhaps many other political prisoners and South Africans who struggled for their freedom.

And, for me, this character is not really about saying "God is, therefore He will fix this" or "God is in control, therefore . . . blah, blah, blah". I feel that it is simply the acceptance that God is . . . everything that God is. And being able to do THAT in the midst of the most difficult circumstances.

Bonolo talked about the story of Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and the fiery furnace. I love these guys! First of all, they say to the King "We will not worship your idol. Our God is able to rescue us from this furnace." Then they say, " . . . and if He doesn't (basically, if for whatever reason He chooses not to) we will still not bow down." I love it! Even if things don't turn out the way we would hope . . . you will still find us standing for our principles and committed to our faith.

This is the point Job comes to, in my opinion. So, here's a guy that's lost everything: family, finances, relationships, physical health. He begins to question his life and God. At the very end of his story, we hear Job speaking to God (in The Message translation) coming to a place of humility and reverence:

"I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?' I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head."

In Ghana, the Akan people have a set of wisdom symbols they describe as Adinkra symbols. Each symbol represents some morsel of wisdom that is passed down as a knowledge from one generation to the next. There is one of my favorites, the 'sankofa' symbol that represents "It's never too late to go back and fetch that which was lost". When I was in Ghana in 2000, I noticed that these symbols were etched into the fabric of people's lives . . . literally. I remember being on a bus driving through town and seeing plastic lawn chairs with the symbol 'Gye Nyame' molded into the backrest of the chair. Gye Nyame means simply, "God is".

So, my insight for the week is simply this: "God IS everything that God IS".

Kelley

Feel free to take a look at wine tour pics on Flickr: www.flickr.com/msdamaris

A Sabbatical

2008-07-30T05:54:00.000-05:00

I read in a Rob Bell book recently that taking a 'day of rest' or a 'sabbath' is good for one's psychology. So, I decided to take off today AND tomorrow and spend them milling around Milnerton and going to the spa.

Supposedly, this means I won't be working, but of course I am. I am at a local internet cafe working on some CRP projects for Argosy. Maybe tomorrow, I can take a 'true' sabbatical. But then I'll be preparing for my lecture on Friday -- so I guess that's out! :)

On Saturday, I am scheduled to take a tour of the winelands . . . mmm, the time has finally come. I am so very excited about this tour!! Then, on Sunday, I have been invited to attend a church in Langa (one of the townships) where a Cornerstone student, a young lady, has been invited to preach. I am very excited for her and looking forward to the experience.

Hope you are happy and well.

Kelley

Everyone has a story . . .

2008-07-29T05:10:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, I attended a seminar on Narrative Therapy. Michael White and David Epston are the "creators" of Narrative Therapy. Michael White was the presenter of the seminar I attended. Our conference ended on Saturday. On Monday, while in California, White collapsed during dinner and on the following Friday he died.

During the conference he spoke of 'narratives' or the stories of our lives that we tell to ourselves and others. He says that everyone has a story, and that every story is exceptional. I looked up a definition for this word on Dictionary.com -- Exceptional: forming an exception or rare instance; Unusual; Extraordinary.

One of the things that struck me most about Michael White is that he seemed to see everyone in this way -- in their exceptionality (is that a word?) of their story. I thought about this a lot after leaving the conference. What would it be like to assume that everyone I met had an exceptional life story? How would it be to walk through the world, and through my own life with this . . . assumption?Would it change my relationships? Would it change me? Would it change THEM?

What if when I saw a homeless person, or a student sitting silent in the back of my classroom, I assumed that each was the bearer of an exceptional life story. I wonder how I would approach relationships differently if I did that?

Today, I am out of class early. Probably by about 45 minutes. One of my students collapsed during the lecture and I sent the remainder of the students away to work on their group presentations due in 2 weeks.

I am left thinking of 'stories'.

What would it be like to walk through the world seeing people in the exceptionality of their stories?

Kelley

Robben Island Pics on Flickr

2008-07-28T04:32:00.000-05:00

Here's a link:

www.flickr.com/msdamaris

Robben Island

2008-07-28T03:06:00.000-05:00

I visited Robben Island this weekend along with a group of Cornerstone students/staff and a group of faculty/staff from Bethel University in Minnesota.

It was a very moving experience. We saw the limestone quarry where Nelson Mandela and many other political prisoners worked daily. We also drove past a cemetery where many who died of leprosy were buried. Robben Island has a long history of being a site where people were "cast away". A long while ago, it was a leper colony, then a refuge for the mentally ill. At one point it was a military compound and most recently a prison for political prisoners. Now it is a museum where people like me (and maybe you someday) can come and see the horrible conditions those prisoners lived under for so many years.

The tour guide told us a story about the children involved in the Soweto uprisings. (The movie 'Sarafina' is based on the Soweto uprisings). Many of the children involved were brought to Robben Island. The youngest, a 15 year old boy left the island having received two degrees through distance learning and is now a high ranking official in the new South African government.

Another story that stuck with me was that upon Nelson Mandela's release, many in South Africa believed he would call for violence and 'vengeance' against those who had imprisoned him. Instead, he called for peace, unity and reconciling the nation. Our tour guide said "Many people say of South Africans, What kind of person is this?!" I agree. Mandela's call for forgiveness resonated and the embittered resentment that could have been is not so salient in this country.

A few years ago, the top ranking officer that had supervised Robben Island prison died. He had overseen many beatings and violence against prisoners. Though many other guards and wardens apologized and sought amnesty, this man never did. He died saying that he would never apologize and that he would never ask forgiveness for his behavior. Attending his funeral were Thabo Mbeki (South Africa's current president) and many other national figures. In their solidarity, they attended as a statement of forgiveness, of putting what this man stood for behind them and their country -- despite this man having never been apologetic.

Stories like this really make me stand with others who say "What type of human being can be so forgiving?" So strong? So resilient?

During our tour, we also visited Mandela's cell . . . I think the dimensions were 2 meters by 4 meters. There was no bed. Only two pads to sleep on above a concrete floor. There was also a bucket there, his toilet that he himself was required to empty daily. One of the women on the tour stated that Mandela was "so refined" after his release. That during press conferences, he would "take a step back for the ladies" -- Refined. After spending 18 years mining limestone, in no shoes and socks, and dumping one's bodily excrement daily.

I am so . . . . in reverence to South Africa. To all the people who have forgiven, who've worked toward unity and reconciliation . . . and restoration of their country -- out of love for their country. This is a very awesome place.

There were times during the tour when I felt angry. Then, at the very end I felt so appreciative that humankind can try and 'fix' things. That we can change. That we can be reconciled. That we can forgive and be forgiven.

Things are not perfect in South Africa, but in the 14 years since the end of apartheid they've certainly come a long way.

Kelley

Cornerstone Tuition Fundraising Letter

2008-07-25T07:23:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone,

I am adding this letter on behalf of the students and faculty at Cornerstone. You can click on to letter to magnify the image.

Thanks!

Kelley

What a lovely class!

2008-07-25T06:23:00.000-05:00

I had such a lovely time in class today. I had students to break into 4 groups and "act out" a family conflict. My oh my were these students creative. They incorporated interracial dynamics, generational conflicts, pregnancies, crime/violence and all sorts of "real-life" tensions and problems in which families often find ourselves.

One student said that he couldn't sleep at all last night, and was afraid he'd be asleep during class. He came to me after class expressing his thanks and exclaimed "I didn't even fall asleep in class!" I had to smile to myself for his honesty. :)

This weekend will be a busy one. I am going to Robbin Island tomorrow and then visiting a church service on Sunday. Tonight I am "hanging out" with Colleen who coordinates international partnerships here at Cornerstone.

I am going to try and blog on Saturday after the Robbin Island tour . . . so that it is still "fresh".

Enjoy your weekend.

Kelley

Living out the questions

2008-07-24T07:42:00.000-05:00

Well! Wednesday was certainly an interesting day . . . :)

A group of professors from Bethel University in Minnesota arrived at Cornerstone Wednesday morning. Bethel and Cornerstone have a "partnership" program wherein students from Bethel conduct a study abroad at Cornerstone annually. The delegation of professors were visiting South Africa for a 2-week 'introduction' to the country.

It was nice to hear the accents from the US and one of the visitors is originally from Dallas. What a very small world. In the afternoon, Glenda Wildschutt, a South African gave a lecture to the group and I had the pleasant opportunity of being invited to attend. Glenda worked with the post-apartheid commission led by Desmond Tutu that was created to build national unity and 'reconcile' the races. It's job also was to review amnesty applications submitted by those who committed crimes against humanity from 1960 to 1994, which were arguably the most brutal years of apartheid in South Africa. Glenda made a comment that I really appreciated . . . that the commission's aim was "restorative justice". This type of justice aimed at restoring dignity and humanity not only to victims but also perpetrators of these crimes. She said that working on the commission she had many struggles: 1) To see that one human being could be desperately beautiful and yet devastatingly evil, and 2) realizing a connection between herself and the perpetrators of violence . . . that they are both human beings.

Another thing she said that interested me was this idea of a 'negative identity'. This being that one is 'a something' because they ARE NOT something else. She said this of coloureds in the country. I am not white, I am not Xhosa, I am not Zulu, I am not Asian. Therefore, I am coloured. She talked about the impact that this has had on her people, coloured people living in South Africa.

Earlier in the day, Jon Volmink, the Principal (President) of Cornerstone made an interesting comment. He said that we live in a very complex world, and another word for complex is 'messy'. He went on to explain that in this messiness, sometimes there are not solutions, only choices. He urged the group to stay in the murkiness of life without running away from the questions. Live out the questions, he said.

I read in a book written by Rob Bell that it is a human condition to want to 'run away' from the questions in our lives; to give quick and dirty answers that don't necessarily fit the situation. He too urged readers to stay in the tension, live out the questions, and choose . . . wisely.

Tomorrow, I continue on in my pursuit of teaching family and development. It will be a very interesting class discussion as we are likely to discuss student ideas about the 'roles' of men and women in the family. Exciting stuff!

Kelley

Beaches and Braai

2008-07-21T02:53:00.000-05:00

A South African tradition is having a "braai" or cookout on nice, sunny days. One woman told me . . . "and we do REAL meat, not burgers and hot dogs!" I expressed to Caroline that I was saddened that I wouldn't have an opportunity to attend a braai, assuming that, like in Texas, they are hosted mostly in the summer.

Because Cape Town is, well, perfect; Caroline and her family hosted a braai on Sunday afternoon. The weather was gorgeous . . . a bit chilly but beautiful nonetheless. On the menu was chicken, ostrich sausage, and another sausage that is traditionally South African and consists of beef, pork and lamb. I had it ALL. Caroline's husband, Mike, is a wonderful griller and the ostrich was my favorite.

Also on Sunday, I decided to have a walk to the beach. I knew that there was a beach in walking distance, but had no idea that it would be as beautiful as it was. It was only about a 10 min walk and the scene was breathtaking. Such beauty, only such a short distance away. And here I was hiking it over to the waterfront all these days. :)

This week represents my third week teaching here at Cornerstone. The internet is back in working order and I'm feeling very comfortable with my classes. Last week, I showed a video developed by a psychologist, Gladys Mwiti, from Kenya. Dr. Mwiti received her doctorate in psychology from Fuller Theological Seminary in California. She has developed a series of teaching videos for counseling interventions with indigenous African populations. Many of my students were very impressed with her approaches.

Speaking of indigenous African groups . . .

The other day, Caroline offered me a book that chronicles the life and experiences of a black African soldier. She said to me "I don't know if you will like it. We like it, because we are African." Caroline is white, has blonde hair and blue eyes. I smiled at the irony of the moment. I am black and she is African. :)

Africa is very diverse.

-Kelley

PS More pics at Flickr!! www.flickr.com/msdamaris

Seals, Pancakes and Forgiveness

2008-07-18T08:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I had the very pleasant opportunity of visiting the Two Oceans aquarium here in Cape Town. The aquarium boasts being on the very boundary where the Atlantic Ocean meets the Indian Ocean. Therefore, the aquatic life in the area is very diverse. I spent about 2.5 hours there! In addition to the fish (which included a HUGE exhibit of 'clown' fish -- yay, Nemo!), the aquarium had two penguin exhibits and a predator exhibit which included GREAT WHITE SHARKS. It was very intimidating to stand next to a clear glass aquarium while a Great White shark swims over your head.

After leaving the aquarium, I strolled about along the pier and was surprised to see several seals sunbathing. One very large one wasn't agreeable to the flashes from my camera, so I kept a safe distance. However, before I left them, I was able to see two seals in a bit of a scuffle when a larger seal 'deposed' a smaller seal from his/her sunbathing location. Lots of barking and flailing about . . . quite animated!

For lunch, I ate at a pancake 'haus' which served delicious, fluffy pancakes rolled and stuffed with non-breakfast food items. I had a pancake with "bobotie" stuffed inside. Bobotie is a traditional South African dish, specifically from the "Cape Malay" people. It is ground beef, curry, raisins, and almonds . . . VERY delicious!! I was so fascinated with the rolled and stuffed pancake that I took a picture of it. Will be posting it to my Flickr account soon.

After lunch, I met a group of tourists and we all went for a tour of the Capetonian "townships" which include informal settlements. In the early to mid 1900s, black and coloured South Africans were moved from their homes in the town to outlying dwellings called townships. The townships have grown rapidly and many people that live there have built informal houses, which are basically one-room wooden houses. We met tons of people there and even shared a beer together (served in a large tin can).

Returning from the tour, a 16-year-old young woman from Belgium asked why the blacks and coloureds were not more 'angry' with whites here in South Africa. She stated, "If I had been treated that way, I would hate white people". Our tour guide, a black South African of the Xhosa tribe, told a story about his own family. His father used to work in the diamond mines here in South Africa. Once, he was so badly beaten by a white supervisor that the whole of his side was severely injured. He never told his children about the beating or the injury. Soon before he died, his son (our tour guide) saw the injury and inquired with his father about it, believing it had something to do with his ailing health. The father told his son he had never told his children about this, because he did not want his children to grow up with hate. Whew! That is such a powerful story for me.

To hear this man tell his story was to really understand forgiveness. It was a profound experience.

I am planning to take some time this weekend to relax and work more on my lectures for this week. I have been invited to make a presentation to the Cornerstone faculty about authentic teaching in a diverse learning environment. I am excited to make the presentation in this context, hoping that it will broaden my understanding of how to apply the principles internationally.

I hope you are happy and well!

Kelley

What I love about my face . . . or 'a bit Coloured'

2008-07-15T08:47:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been trying to update this blog for 3 days now! Hopefully, this time it will work! :) I am having serious laptop issues, but so as not to go on a tangent, I move on . . .

Over the weekend I visited the mountains with the De Wet family. It was a delightful trip and I've posted some photos at flickr: www.flickr.com/people/msdamaris (I think) :)

On our way to the mountains we stopped to fuel up. When he was finished with the gas, the attendant began to speak to me in Xhosa -- I assumed he was asking about payment for the 'petrol'. This was the second time that's happened to me here. When I was in Kenya, people would speak to me in their 'mother tongue'. On occasion, I've been spoken to in Spanish, Hamaric, Swahili, French . . . a colleague in graduate school asked where I was from. When I told her, Texas, she said "No, I mean before that. Like where are your people from?"

A few days ago, a woman who's ethnicity is "Coloured" said that I look black, but I also look a bit Coloured. Not surprising.

I enjoy this ability to be seen 'contextually'. It is a very interesting experience . . . I wonder if it is unique??

My class today was VERY delightful! We had a very intense discussion about sexuality and it was wonderful to hear and think about all the different perspectives in the room. I LOVE Diversity!! Woo hoo! :)

Kelley

Completing the First Week & Snow, Snow, Snow!

2008-07-11T05:33:00.001-05:00

I have officially completed my first week of classes. I feel confident about how both classes went this week. The course I taught today, Family & Development, had many more students enrolled than the other . . . about 18 compare to the 11 that were in the Tuesday course. In both courses, I believe, students will be very participatory and involved in class discussions.

I am amazed at how diverse student perspectives are on the topics at hand, particularly gender roles and family structure. Because I am not in my own culture, I assumed that most South Africans would have a similar viewpoints on these issues. You know, "in-group/out-group homogeneity bias". Yes, social psychology 101 -- I assumed that those in my own group (folks from the US) are much more diverse than folks in the outgroup (folks from South Africa). It's so great to be a psychologist and have the ability to label myself in this way. :)

I am sad today, though. I have someone very close, who lives in the US, who lost a relative. Please keep the family in your thoughts and prayers. It is difficult to be located so far away from the people I love and cherish when they have difficult times as these.

For the remainder of today, I am attending a faculty meeting and then going home to eat and run errands. I went to the spa yesterday . . . had like 4 different services for $40. Simply awesome!

Tomorrow, I've been invited to travel with the De Wet family into the mountains to see . . . yes, you guessed it: SNOW! Still can't believe it. I barely get to see snow in Texas, and now I come to South Africa and can take a short drive to feast my heart out. I am grateful to the De Wet's for inviting me along and treating me so nicely while I am here.

Hope you take care . . . and enjoy your SUMMER! :)

1 in 10-year Cold Front

2008-07-09T02:05:00.000-05:00

It is so very cold in Cape Town . . . and rainy.

A gentleman told me yesterday that the cold front that arrived in Cape Town about a week ago is the coldest front in the last ten years. And here it is, I thought I only needed a lightweight jacket! I suppose I will go to the mall this weekend (any excuse, really, to go to the mall) and shop for a rainproof, warm coat. :)

I was rained out of the day tour I had scheduled for today, so I am here at Cornerstone working on my lectures. I am planning to take a look at the library resources available for family counseling. Hopefully, there will be some videos of clinical interviews and such. I understand that the psychology program has several profs with specialties in family systems theory.

I am beginning to enjoy the cold, rainy weather (I know, very strange). There's lots of hot coffee, soup, people bundled up, and electric blankets! Ah, winter is not all that bad. :)

Oh, and for those of you I didn't get a chance to announce it to, I received notification the day before I left for Cape Town that I am officially licensed to practice psychology by the State of Texas. I am very excited and looking forward to celebrating when I return!

Hope you all are enjoying the sun . . . and that I can enjoy just a little bit of it when I get back to Texas.

Kelley

First Day of Class

2008-07-08T06:52:00.000-05:00

I have completed my first day of class. Woo hoo! I was very nervous going into the class, but things turned out very well. Here at Cornerstone, morning classes start at 8:30am and have four 50-minute sessions and a 30 minute tea break from 10:15-10:45am. I love the pace of it, and students were eager to participate in class discussions.

The class today was "Gender and Interpersonal Issues". We started by discussing the definitions of sex, sexuality, and gender and ended the day by breaking into groups which will present various topics in the 6th week of the term. I am very excited about the students. There is a very diverse mix of age, race and gender (kinda'). There seem to be so few men in my psychology courses -- interesting.

I think I will enjoy the class. I really didn't have an opportunity to get to everything I wanted to discuss in terms of human sexuality. I got caught up discussing culture and the discussion went long.

Well, it was a good day! Hope you are having one as well. :)

Kelley

"Crime"

2008-07-07T02:24:00.000-05:00

I keep forgetting to post this point. A few months ago, I read a book in which the author stated that every city has a 'word'. She said that a friend of hers in Rome told her this. He said that it's the word that's on everyone's mind, though people are not necessarily talking about it. But, if you were to interview people and ask them what is on their minds, they would essentially all say the same thing. I've asked a few people about this (even some students - Thanks!) and here's what's been observed (non-scientifically, mind you): Dallas = Money, Houston = Food, Austin = Artist/Weird/Eccentric, Jasper = Race. In the book the Roman guy said that Rome's word is Sex.

Well, in my experimentation (again, non-scientific), I decided to test about to see what is Cape Town's word. Surprisingly, the word I have heard is Crime. I have heard some statistics that rates of crime in South Africa are 7-8 times higher than averages in the US. People are very conscious of this and almost everyone I've talked to has had some sort of first hand experience with being mugged AND knows a few other people who have been as well.

Fortunately, most of the stories I've heard involved just that -- muggings. If I had to choose between being raped, murdered, or mugged I'd choose being mugged any day. The family I'm staying with now has tried to be very conscientious in explaining this to me. They've tried to not 'scare' me to a point where I don't want to go out at all. The previous tenant, also a US citizen, was so frightened in her first few weeks here that she didn't go out at all.

They didn't want to make the same mistake with me.

I must admit that I am a bit rattled by this, but I have personally not seen anyone getting murdered, robbed or raped since I've been here. I live in a very secure place and feel very safe.

So that's it . . . just surprised by this and wanted to share.

Kelley

Getting Settled In

2008-07-05T08:05:00.000-05:00

Well, over the past few days, I've really gotten settled in to my new 'home' in a suburb called Milnerton. I am living in what South Africans call a "granny flat". This type of residence would probably be called a 'guesthouse' or 'guest suite' in the states. I am living with the De Wet (pronounced "de-vet") who have been out of town all this week, camping. During that time two students from the college have been house sitting and I've enjoyed getting to know them, and about the college a little better.

Milnerton faces table mountain and has a stunning view. The residence where I am living is in walking distance to the beach, but I've not visited the beach yet. The days have been VERY cold and wet -- lots of rain this time of year. Every now and then, the clouds go away and there is a nice, sunny day. I think then, maybe, I will talk a stroll along the beach.

On Monday, I'll drive into Lansdowne (another suburb, where the college is located) with Caroline De Wet and work on my lectures. Then, on Tuesday I have my first class -- woo hoo! I am EXTREMELY excited about teaching and getting to know the students. Can't wait to tell you about all of the very interesting (I'm sure) conversations and discussions that we'll have in class. I've decided to take some time during the first lecture to tell students a bit about myself before jumping into things. For some reason, I think they'll appreciate that! :)

I had lunch today at the Canal Walks Shops which is a very large mall about 2 miles from my new residence. The mall is located inside "Century City" which houses tons of hotels, condos, businesses and restaurants. It is on a very large scale. One of the ladies I lunched with (All ladies from the US living here in Cape Town) asked me what had surprised me most about Cape Town.

My answer was the magnitude of economic disparities. Driving from the airport were several townships, where people live in shacks with no running water and very little electricity. Then, along the beaches, are million dollar mansions. I think she thought I was more surprised with the poverty itself, but I was not, having visited the slums in Kenya. What I did not see in Kenya were mansions directly across the street from shacks - it is quite overwhelming.

I've signed myself up for several tours with a local tour agency that specializes in daytrips. One of the trips is a "Township Tour" that will take us into the townships and we'll get to meet some of the people there. I am looking forward to it.

Other tours I signed up for were winetastings and whale watching. Funny, when I signed up for BOTH winetasting tours (a few weeks apart, mind you) the agent said "You want to sign up for two winetastings?" I replied "Yes", and she exclaimed "Well, that's a first! You must really like wine." Yes, I do. :)

Well, I guess that's all for now. Getting quite homesick, though it's only been a little over a week here and I've got 2 months to go. So, keep me in mind as you are in mine.

Take care,
Kelley

Exploring Cape Town!

2008-07-01T05:39:00.000-05:00

Well, over the past few days I have explored a few beaches, the Victoria & Albert (V & A)Waterfront plus Cape Peninsula. Cape Peninsula is, I believe, the southernmost tip of Africa. As such, the Indian ocean is to the east of the peninsula while the Atlantic ocean is to the west. It was an amazing view and I will be uploading several pictures later today.

Yesterday, I moved into the small studio apartment that I am leasing from the college registrar at Cornerstone. She and her family are on 'holiday' this week, so there are two students house-sitting whom I hope to spend some time with over the next few days. We are planning a walk over to the Century City mall today -- the largest in Cape Town. VERY much looking forward to shopping and doing more exploring before I start classes on Tuesday.

I am feeling extremely excited about the teaching. The students I've met seem responsive and curious, so I am hoping that it carries over (esp. the curiosity) to the classroom. I'm sure I'll have great stories to tell about this as I interact more with students.

Hope all of you are well and enjoying that Texas summer!! And in case I don't get to communicate with you again before then -- have a fantastic Independence Day. :)

Kelley

My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/msdamaris

First Day at Cornerstone

2008-06-27T02:46:00.000-05:00

I awoke to a raining morning today. It is winter in Cape Town, and though the temperatures are much milder, I understand that the weather can be pretty wet and rainy. So far, I've not been uncomfortable/cold/miserable so again, I would say that the weather is mild.

I arrived today for the first time at Cornerstone Christian College. Cornerstone has about 500 students all working toward a Bachelor of Theology degree. The degree program has 3 'specialities': 1) Psychology, 2) Community Development, 3) Christian Leadership. I, of course, am teaching in the psychology program. Today I met several staff members including the head of the psychology department, who is also the Vice-Principal (Vice-President) of the college, Ashley Smyth. Though I've been mostly interacting with Wayne Herman more recently, Ashley was my initial contact who coordinated my guest lecturing here at the college. I am very grateful for him, and it was a pleasure meeting him in person today.

I also met today, the head of the Community Development department, who is originally from Kenya. We spoke a bit about Kenya and it seems that Sam attended a university in Nakuru, which is one of the towns in Kenya I visited last summer.

In about 15 minutes, the staff and faculty are meeting for morning tea and I will distribute the pens/pencils that I received from the admissions department at Argosy. I'll also have an opportunity to mingle with everyone I've met so far, more informally. PLUS, I am looking forward to tea and biscuits . . . mm, mm, mmmmh! :)

Later today, I am driving with Wayne's wife Jenny to Beautiful Gate Children's Home to pick up a child that the family has become close to. I looking forward to seeing the home and also meeting the little one.

Laura, Wayne and Jenny's youngest child is celebrating a 12th birthday tomorrow. I am happy to have an opportunity to help celebrate and I feel grateful that the family is including me in the celebration.

Hoping to take more pictures today, though the weather is poor. Will post a blog entry when/if I do.

Kelley

See my pics on Flickr!!

2008-06-26T17:22:00.001-05:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/msdamaris

Flights and Introduction to Cape Town

2008-06-26T12:50:00.000-05:00

6-26-2008

Well, after a quite extensive plane trip and a good night's rest, I was able to go "out and about" to Cape Town for a bit today. For my first few days here, I am living with the family of the Dean of Cornerstone Christian College where I'll be teaching. Wayne Herman, his wife, and three daughters are originally from the US but have been living here for 9 years. Interestingly enough, Wayne started out as a visiting lecturer to Cornerstone (like me) then returned a few years later to become the academic dean of the college. His family has graciously offered to host me and I am enjoying spending time with he and his family.

Today, I went with Jenny (Wayne's wife) and her three daughters to pick up a few snacks and also visit a woman who offers her ranch for kids to learn 'horse vaulting' which two of Wayne's daughters are practicing. Horse vaulting consists of working individually and/or with a partner doing something like acrobatics while on horseback. Very impressive!

During my time there, I met a woman who grew up in Zimbabwe but now lives in South Africa. She talked about having to leave the country when the current government came into power and seized many farms from Whites who lived there. Her story was quite sad, but she spoke about her faith quite openly and how that helped to "get her through" those tough times. . .

The people I've encountered so far are extremely friendly and open to 'educating' foreigners about South Africa.

I'm now going to a neighbor's house to watch a soccer match!! Should be SO fun . . .

Kelley